SEXUALITY, ILLNESS AND HEALTH/SEX AND CELL DISEASE (CANCER): CHEMOTHERAPY AND SEXUALITY
Chemotherapy and sexuality: Most forms of chemotherapy are designed to boost the body’s own natural defense against fast-growing cells that are out of control. In the process, chemotherapy may result in side effects related to some destruction of your own healthy fast-growing cells (like the lining of your stomach or your hair cells). You can do much to reduce the sexual side effects of chemotherapy by conditioning yourself. Listen to pleasing music or smell a pleasing odor during chemotherapy treatment. The music or odor might become “paired” with the chemotherapy, and the sound or odor itself might actually help the chemotherapy by making it more effective with less of a dose. The principle at work here is the classical conditioning done by Pavlov, who taught his dogs to salivate to a bell. In this case, you are teaching your own defense cells to respond to music or an odor. This technique is still in the experimental stage, but there is no harm in trying it. Anything that doesn’t hurt the treatment program could help it. Here are some issues related to cancer and chemotherapy.
1. Some chemotherapy may alter menstruation, fertility in men and women, and hormonal patterns related to human development, particularly during adolescence. Ask your doctor about the side effects in this regard. Just ask out loud, “What might this chemical do to my sex life?”
2. The whole process of chemotherapy and its administration is not conducive to comfort. You may become depressed as well as have other physical symptoms. Get a strong support system and make sure the setting in which you receive your chemotherapy is one that you can at least tolerate. Listen to music, fantasize, play relaxation and imagery tapes. Help out the process! Go to your own internal pharmacy of natural healing chemicals.
3. it is not true that all chemotherapy causes infertility. Some types can, but not always. Teenagers I have interviewed sometimes assume that their chemotherapy makes them safe contraceptively. This is not true. Talk it over with your doctor.
4 The cell-disease patients I interviewed felt a stronger need than ever to be touched, held, stroked, and loved, and the more invasive the treatment, the stronger was the need. Never forget the power of the healing touch. “I can’t say why or how, but his touch just soothed me after the chemotherapy.” The wife reported that her husband could actually cancel out some of the side effects of her treatment. She continued, “He was on a sales trip once, and I had my treatment. I got sick as a dog. The next time, he was home. If we make love, like that time, I just don’t get the nausea. Can that happen?”
There are forms of cell disease for every part of the body, but the principles above apply to each. If we take the fourth perspective of sexuality, we avoid the trap of a genital/breast focus on sex. When we avoid that trap, we have ample options to protect our sexuality. No disease destroys sharing, and sharing in the absence of the energy buildup and discharge model cannot be destroyed by cell disease. If we give up our sexuality at times of illness, we give the disease a power it does not have on its own.
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